A Life of Left Turns
This scripture pic came from my current Bible Study, Made to Crave Action Plan. For the past 3 months I’ve spent every morning with these ladies and in two weeks, it’ll all be coming to a close.
I love the routine that I’ve fallen into with my morning Bible time.
And I’m fearful that it won’t be there soon for me to connect with.
I’m anxious that I’ll “fall off the wagon” so to speak…again. For the thousandth time. And fulfill what my mind tells me everyone is waiting on…
“Well, Jill’s doing so good, BUT how long can she keep it up? We’ve circled this mountain with her for so many years…”
I have to remind myself and as Jude 1:20 says, “build myself up in my most holy faith,” that it’s about God. That my hope is NOT in this Bible Study.
My hope isn’t in the author of the book or the leaders of the Online Bible Study (although I’ve SO grateful for their obedience).
But it’s in Christ.
I realized this morning that I’ve yet to delve into God’s word on my own.
Still more wasted opportunities.
I am relying on other people to feed the Word to me, through my pastor, online sermons I listen to, and this Bible Study . But I fail to feed the most important thing to myself.
God’s daily bread.
I must stop wasting opportunities.
So I’ll start with this one. This verse has been so powerful to me over the past few months.
God, you did everything you promised,
and I’m thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.
Now I stroll at leisure with God
in the sunlit fields of life.
I have been doing “this” for SO long. It’s become a strange best friend; this struggle with myself has. I have been circling this mountain for day after day, year after year.
And I’m dizzy from it.
I’m over it.
I’ve kicked this best friend out of my life and though she may try to come back, knocking on the door of my heart and mind, she is not welcome back. She is my “chatterbox” and I’ve listened to her lies for long enough.
“You’ll always be this way,” she says.
“You aren’t strong enough. You are so disgusting. Your kids will grow up to be fat and lazy and unlovable just like you. You’ll never be able to wear cute clothes like her. Why don’t you just give up? Be happy with your fatness! The Lord could return tomorrow and all that wonderful food you’ve denied yourself will be for nothing. LIVE LIFE!!!” Her voice was so loud and clear.
Because you see, I’m hearing her through the filter now of this Bible Study, truth I’ve had sown into me, and the truth of God’s word.
And relying on God after this Bible Study is over will be my only hope.
I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.