Parenthood is so glamorous.
It’s ridiculous really.
Why more people don’t sign up is really beyond me.
Who wouldn’t want to miss out of the events of our last month?
In the past 30 days, 4 of us (that’s 2/3 for you Math wizards) came down with a crazy cool virus.
IT WAS SO FUN!
And if you’re jealous that I pressure washed vomit of our our van floor mats…well, you should be.
Then we welcomed this little gem into the Banks fold:
Meet Lucy Belle!
She is totes adorbs. (That’s “totally adorable” for those of you who don’t watch Barbie and the Dreamhouse)
She is the gift that keeps on giving….in the form of wicked allergy attacks in all the Banks girls…
Again with the Math, 1/2.
Thank you Lucy Belle.
And whisky for helping my cough…
Speaking of gifts that keep on giving, Miss Ellie.
Of 38 years of life, 15 years of teaching, and 13 years of parenthood, this was a first for me.
–She’s the first Banks to climb out of the crib.
–The first Banks to cut their hair.
–The first Banks to use Fixodent as hair product.
–And the first Banks to get head lice.
I took her sweet face in my hands and said, “WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND YOUR HAIR?!”
And last week while the Earth was holding its collective breath while Donald Trump was winning the Presidency…
Here I was.
I told Jason, “Everyone in the country is losing their mind over the president and I’m just sitting here putting mayonnaise on my kid’s head!”
Bless her heart.
Maggie chased her around the house for a solid hour trying to lick that child’s head.
As I was searching strands of hair and rebuking nits in the name of Jesus, I honest to goodness heard the Lord speak to me.
You know the 60 million people who voted for Trump? I know all the numbers of hairs on their heads.
61 million for Clinton? All the hair on their heads too.
And the over 6 million who voted for the other guys? All the hairs.
That’s a lotta hairs.
Speaking of a lot, we have done so much laundry.
I even tagged teamed machines at my moms.
As I was loading another pile of possibly tainted clothes, she said, “Jill, it has to be hot water. Are you washing it in hot? What setting are you using?”
I leaned over and squinted at the dial checking out my options and said, “Well, is there a setting called ‘Set the sumbitches on fire? Cuz that’s the one I want.”
I don’t think her model had that one…
Each night as I’d put a new concoction on my baby’s head I’d whisper a prayer casting out the devil bugs that had invaded her sweetness.
I’d wake up the next morning only to find more nits.
Shame and embarrassment filled my heart and frustration filled my overwhelmed mind.
I had to give myself several pep talks.
I mean, it’s not like she had genital warts or something.
It’s lice for God’s sake.
God had to give me pep talks too.
He dropped in my mind the parable of the yeast.
Just when I thought I had it whipped, I realized that I had missed one little nit.
Mama lice making more stupid devil babies.
The cycle is exhausting and a consequence of the curse of man.
The parable of yeast is the same concept.
One little baby tiny speck of yeast can ruin bread.
33 Jesus also used this illustration:
“The Kingdom of Heaven is like the yeast a
woman used in making bread. Even though
she put only a little yeast in three measures of
flour, it permeated every part of the dough.”
It permeated every part of the dough.
Not only must every little tiny speck of sin be plucked out of my life but my “yeast” can go one of two ways.
My yeast can be bad and permeate in a negative way, damaging those I’m sent to love or my yeast can be awesome and life changing and eternal.
I want to choose the latter.
I am happy to report that after 147 loads of laundry, hundreds of dollars spent and a new food aversion to mayonnaise, we are now LICE FREE.
I just may shout.
In the meantime, I have bought stock in Tea Tree Oil Shampoo to protect all the hairs
and I am convinced in the stock I’ve placed in God and His word that never fails.