Called to the Crazy
I heard a friend of mine say this last week. That she felt God had called her and her husband “to the craziness” that surrounds adopting 2 young boys from Uganda. As soon as those words left her mouth and graced my ears, I knew they were mine. I am called to the crazy of this life. It’s fun. It’s not for everyone. But I believe it’s for me. How can it not be? I am knee deep in it. And so many nights I fall into bed and it’s then I realize how tired I am, that I reflect on the day, pressing through my sheer exhaustion and thank the Mighty Lord of Lords. Thank Him and say, “We did it Lord. Without you I would surely be a drunk, or highly and illegally medicated…No one died today, we didn’t have to call Poison Control or visit the ER. I didn’t commit homicide. I didn’t get charged with child abandonment or end up on the local 5:00 news. You chose ME for this life I have and we did it. And it was good.” Summers are hard since I have all four home with me, and being a teacher I get the tremendous blessing of being with him. I say that with a hint of sarcasm… I was on maternity leave with E from February 26- May 1 and sometimes I had to pray not to punch the next person in the face when they say, “Oh, but you only have a couple more weeks of school left and then you’ll be off all summer with the kids. That’s so awesome!” Really? I’m not feelin it. I really had to pray about the anxiety I felt about being with all 4 all summer all day long. That’s a lot of “alls”! Not only would I need to keep them alive, but feed them, entertain them, make their events meaningful, making lasting memories so they’ll be well balanced and not require counseling when they’re adults that I’d be guilted into paying for! No pressure! All while keeping the house clean, my husband satisfied, up on my scrapbooking and Pinterest boards, reading new children’s lit for our Library, waking up early to exercise, getting my Bible time in the early morning, teaching myself to sew…what the balls?! No! I was not looking forward to summer! But I am really grateful. It’s hard being with the children all day and then all night by myself since Daddy J has our business to run in the evening. But looking back at the past month or so, God has met me with such grace and peace. It truly has passed ALL understanding…there’s an “all” I’ll take! So while some days I do feel like I’m white-knuckling it through until sweet, sweet bedtime; I’m still thankful because apparently God has a lot of faith in me. That He felt I was up for the challenge to be called to the crazy.
I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.