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Becoming Undone

Have you ever had your heart SO full of love and gratitude and God’s goodness that you literally thought it was going to break right in your chest?
Yeah.
This past weekend I had the unbelievable honor of going to She Speaks in Charlotte NC and that feeling of “full heartness” was my entire weekend.
I literally cried the whole time.  And I knew I was in major trouble when I opened our participant notebook and read the letter from Lysa Terkeurst that ended, “Thank God for making a way for you to be here.”  Ugh.  My mom and husband made that possible.  With their full support to chase this crazy dream of mine to be a writer, I was here.  And with each hour that passed my heart kept filling… and breaking a little more.  Tears 1–Jill 0

she speaks background she speaks flowers she speaks decor

The decorations on the tables even made me want to cry!  What am I saying?  They did!  Everything was SO beautiful.  Tears 2–Jill 0
Praise and worship was so good.  Pure and perfect.  And with 800 women singing together, praising the King.  It was a very small glimpse of Heaven. So with praise and worship 4 times over the weekend, makeup was completely unnecessary.  I was a white hot mess.  Tears 6–Jill 0

 

Lysa leading one of the amazing workshops held this weekend.

Lysa leading one of the amazing workshops held this weekend.

Meeting Nikki and Melissa of Proverbs 31's Online Bible Studies was a real treat.  They are so real!

Meeting Nikki and Melissa of Proverbs 31’s Online Bible Studies was a real treat. They are such genuine women of God!

christine caine

This here lady…was amazeballs.  Christine Caine of Hillsong in Sydney Australia was so full of God’s anointing and Christ’s passion.  It was unreal.  If I didn’t feel insecure about myself before…I did now!  She is SO in love with God and His work and His people.  There was NO way to leave her message without feeling stirred into action.

That’s the only way I can describe myself this weekend.   I felt so undone by all the messages and the constant battle I had with the enemy in my own mind.  I fought the assault of insecurity and doubt on my heart and mind.
Yet I didn’t allow him to win ONCE.  The enemy tried to talk me out of each session, publisher appointment, peer critique.
He tried to get me discouraged.  His darts of doubt were many.
But they didn’t win.
I may not ever publish a book.  And I’m not so sure that’s my goal.  And that’s okay.
But I got validation from the only One that matters.  God.
I got a new sense of purpose.
To KNOW Jesus Christ and to make Him known.

And if it takes me being a white hot mess and undone for a weekend…to spur me on to action for a lifetime and 4 little one’s lifetimes…
Then let the undoing begin.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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I should get paid for this…

With 4 kids, rarely a day goes by without a “facebook-able” moment or comment from one of my kids.
Our. House. Is. A. Circus.
My husband and I are naturally goofy people, so naturally we’ve raised four goofball kids!
We are youth pastors at our church and were there early on Wednesday to prepare for service. My 3 year old daughter is potty training and being the prepared, awesome mom that I am, packed an extra set of panties. I mean really, I should get paid for being so ready! She’s in one of the youth rooms and it is time for her to go to the nursery. I was fixing her plate of dinner as one of the youths were gathering her and her baby sister up to leave. She stepped in the door with pants that were soaked to the ankles. I was ready with panties….but not pants. So what do I do? Strip her down, wipe her off, put on a clean pair of undies and push her out the door. Awesome. I should get paid for this….
After church was over, I see her running down the hall, half naked, happy as a clam, with a blanket tied around her neck like a superhero. Not only did the nursery worker not think a thing of her nakedness, but she accessorized it! This says 2 things…
1, we have amazing nursery workers, and
2, they must be used to my imperfectness!
#imperfectmoms
#OBSdreams

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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If words cut like a knife, could it cut off some fat please?

I don’t eat Special K food, mostly because it has a ton of artificial God knows what in it, but I do LOVE these series of videos they have been putting out lately.  It’s like Dove and Special K are on a specific mission to redeem the strength of women across the world.  This one is so powerful because I’ve done it before.

I have memories starting as a young teenager, of me trying on clothes or looking at myself naked in a mirror and becoming physically violent with myself.  Actually punching myself in the stomach.  Or grabbing a fistful of my fat roll and trying to pinch it into an oblivion.  All the while spewing vile words about myself.  Words that I wouldn’t call my worst enemy.  Why do I speak such things into my heart?  Why do I hate myself so much?

I’m not the enemy.

I found a picture on my phone last night of a screen shot I took a long time ago.  I regret that I don’t know where it came from.
But it says, “Do you think God ever gets sad like, “What do you mean you don’t love yourself?  I worked so hard on you…”
Wow.  Sorry God.

This most recent  journey I’ve been on, according to MyFitnessPal account says, “Jill has logged in for 198 days!” has taught me so much about myself.  I’ve learned that this will be a daily, forever commitment.
That my life isn’t defined by my body.
My body and food is meant to serve ME.
Not the other way around.

53 pounds of me is forever gone.
So are 2 giant garbage bags FULL of “too big clothes.”
I have SO far to go, but God has never left me or forsaken me.
Not when I was hating my jiggly legs as a nervous 8 year old trying on dance outfits in tap class, not when I was making myself purge the minimal calories I’d eaten in High School, and not when I was secretly binging on cupcakes as a struggling 35 year old.  No, He has always been there.  He’s never forsaken me.
And He never will.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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The Cost

I have recently discovered a band that seems to have the most precious spirit of worship and service.  While I don’t know much about The Rend Collective Experiment, what I get from their lyrics is that they have a pure love of Jesus.  Each one of their songs has lyrics that are so pure and real.  My favorite is “The Cost.”  Here’s how it starts out…

I’m saying yes to You
And no to my desires
I’ll leave myself behind
And follow You

I’ve counted up the cost
Oh I’ve counted up the cost
Yes I’ve counted up the cost
And You are worth it
(lyrics from http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/lyricsdetail.php?lyrics_id=73467)

I recently finished Kisses from Katie, a book about a young missionary in Uganda, who is doing amazing things for the children in that country.  All the way through, I felt her story rocking my world.  But it wasn’t until the end of the book that something struck a deep nerve with me, especially in light of this song that’s been on repeat in my mind.

Then, NO JOKE, several weeks later, I start an online bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries called “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa Terkheurst.  So I’m starting to see a theme here Lord….So what exactly is God trying to tell me?  Apparently that He wants all of me.  That He wants me to say “Yes” to Him.  That He wants me to trust Him with all that I have and all that He has for me.  But that it’ll cost me something.  But that it’ll be worth it.  Because He is worth it.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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The unpredictability of worry

You know 90% of the things you worry about don’t ever come to pass? You’d think that statistic would make a chronic worrier and over analyzer like myself stop worrying. But it doesn’t. I’ve heard it said that most things we worry about don’t happen and that what does happen in our life blindsides us at a 4:30 on a Thursday afternoon.
My blindside came at 6:00 on a Monday evening.
Just a typical evening. Kids playing, I’m fixing dinner. Smoke alarm going off because of a piece of paper that “some how” got in the oven. I’m furiously fanning the smoke alarm, opening every door and window in the house when the alarm company calls to check on the smoke alert they got.
“Yes we are fine…my name…password…thank you…”
Things calm down and I go back to dinner. The smoke alarm goes off again and after my ritual, I still get another call from the alarm company. Impatiently spewing out the same information, my cell phone rings. It’s my mom. “Oh, gosh, I’ll have to call her back.” About 30 seconds later husband runs in and grabs his keys off the wall blurting out, “your dad’s been in an accident…I’m going down there.”
Whaaat? Wait. My dad? What are you talking about?!? Without even answering me, he’s peeling out of the driveway and racing down the hill toward their house.
I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t be a prisoner in my home and continue making dinner as if everything was okay knowing he was hurt. From what, I didn’t even know.
I turned off the oven and all the burners, threw the girls in the double stroller and told my oldest to come on. He went running on ahead of me and the girls and I go running across the yard. I ran the whole way there and the only thing I could say was “Jesus.” Over and over again, calling on Jesus’ name was the only thing I knew to do. I could hear the neighborhood echo the screams of sirens of multiple emergency vehicles and knowing they were for MY dad was almost too much. I turn into their road only to see the road lit up with flashing lights and more emergency vehicles. We get into their house, I throw the baby into her crib and run out the back door to the deck where my mom was. She was out of her mind with panic and frustration because she couldn’t get down there to him. She does well to walk on flat ground…there was no way she could manipulate the deck stairs and the uneven backyard, over the hill to where dad was.

I had no idea what to expect.  He’d been on his ATV, who knows for what reason, and it had flipped over on him.  My first wave of panic was that he’d broken his back because of his osteoporosis.  His bones have been described as pieces of chalk.  As I slide down the hill and see my dad on a backer board with countless first responders, I had a peace wash over me that I don’t know where it came from.  It would be okay.  He was complaining of his hip, shoulder and chest hurting.  He didn’t have any visible trauma, so despite the peace God had given me, my mind went to, “Okay maybe he’s paralyzed.  He was awake and talking, but could he move his toes?”  The EMT and police were talking about “preparing the bird” which I could only surmise meant a helicopter.  They were flying him to a nearby trauma hospital because they didn’t know the extent of his injuries either.  Six men carried my dad up the hill to the court where all the emergency vehicles were.  The court was still packed with people and vehicles.  As first responders were asking me questions, I couldn’t think straight.  I gave the police my mom’s cell phone number which consisted of 3 other people’s numbers and I botched his birthdate.  Thankfully J was there to help me sort out seemingly easy information.  Mom wanted me to call her pastor and when I did, the pastor’s wife did 2 amazing things: offered to pray right then and offered to take the girls so we could go on to the hospital.  And she meant it.  Her help was genuine.  After loading everyone up, we raced to her house to drop off the girls and their things and headed to the hospital.  On our way, we saw the helicopter that held my dad racing across the sky.  I wasn’t ready for any of this.  Mom wasn’t ready for this.  The man that has been beside her for almost 50 years, was now hurt.

We are now at the hospital, the ER, and still don’t know the extent of my dad’s injuries.  We are fielding endless texts, Facebook messages, phone calls of people who are  genuinely concerned for us and dad.  It’s overwhelming.  I take the boys up to the cafeteria to get snacks and on our way back we end up on an elevator that put us in the middle of the ER.  I’m casually looking into rooms to see if I can see dad when a  chaplain finds us and asks us if we are with Mr. Kendrick.  My first thought is, “Okay, when a chaplain finds you, it’s usually not good news…”  I tell her yes, and she thankfully puts us in a large but private waiting room because there are so many people with us.  We file in and out of his room and over the course of the evening we find out that he has 8 broken ribs, a broken hip and a punctured lung.  Sweet Jesus.

911 call.
Countless emergency vehicles.
Ambulance ride.
Medi-vac.
ER visit.
ICU.
10 day hospital stay.

Over a month has passed and dad is still healing.  He may never be the same strength wise.  I want to make other plans for care during the day for the girls, but they say they’ll be fine.  I just don’t know.  It’s been a real adjustment.  It’s been the longest month and a half of my life.  I always appreciated my parents and all they did for us but not having them in the capacity that I’m used to has been a real reality check.  I’m so thankful for the people who have stepped up and helped take care of the girls.  Financially it’s been difficult because we are having to pay people to help us.  It’s been so stressful to me.  Because after all, it IS all about me, right?  Ugh.  I’m so thankful to God for my dad’s life.  This story could have had so many other tragic endings.  But he’s alive and mobile and of his right mind.
I’m. So. Thankful.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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Cap’n Commissioner…Reporting for duty

shesharestruth

My first inkling, albeit judgemental, when reading the story about the woman who witnessed to the penniless guy at Starbucks was, “if he was just kicked out of his home and was penniless, then why was he in line at a Starbucks?” Ugh. I really loathe myself sometimes. WHY am I like that?! Could I not see the story for what it really was?! A chance opportunity where God Almighty came and met someone where they needed Him?!
Today’s scriptures are Matthew 28:16, The Great Commission and Mark’s rendition of the Great Commission in Mark 16:14-20.

16–17  Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.

18–20  Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.”
Mark 16

The Great Commission

14 Afterward mhe appeared pto the eleven themselves as they were reclining at table, and he rebuked them for their qunbelief and rhardness of heart, because sthey had not believed those who saw him after he had risen. 15 And he said to them, t“Go into all the world and uproclaim the gospel to vthe whole creation. 16 wWhoever believes and is xbaptized ywill be saved, but zwhoever wdoes not believe will be condemned. 17 And athese signs will accompany those who believe: bin my name they will cast out demons; cthey will speak in new tongues; 18 dthey will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; ethey will lay their hands fon the sick, and they will recover.”
19 So then the Lord Jesus, gafter he had spoken to them, hwas taken up into heaven and isat down at the right hand of God. 20 And they went out and preached everywhere, while jthe Lord worked with them and confirmed kthe message lby accompanying signs.]]

I think, after reading these scriptures, how frustrated I am with myself.  How many planned, chance encounters have I missed, walked away from, just flat out disobeyed because of my own pride?  There’s a lady we go to church with, we’ve grown up with her, she’s our age and also with her husband helps out with our youth group.  I was watching her one Wednesday night after youth group as she was genuinely talking with some ladies in our church who I think are so annoying.  They are needy, clingy, and invade my personal space when I do talk to them.  I keep my distance with them because I worry that if I do talk to them that they’ll latch on to me and not let go.  But Jackie was talking with them, interacting and doing the things I know I should do.  Sharing the love of God with them.  Why am I selective as to whom I share God’s love with?  It was the realization that Jackie was so much more suited for God’s work and was so much better than I.  God doesn’t necessarily love her more or me any less but he may entrust more to her.

I still have so much to learn about the Lord.  It’s truly a daily struggle with myself.  I know I love God and I’m so thankful that He doesn’t EVER give up on me.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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Just at the right time

It was about 11:00 last night and I was rocking/feeding my youngest.  My mind had literally been racing all evening about things that seem to be spinning out of my control.  A little backstory:  my parents watch my daughters while I’m at work.  About 3 weeks ago my dad was involved in an ATV accident and has been out of commission ever since.  He does most of the lifting on my girls and with him being down, they both are.  I have arranged for different people to watch the girls each day because it would be harder for people to commit to more than one day.  People have lives.  Thursdays were covered but the lady got a job and is now unavailable.  My sister in law, watches the girls on Tuesdays.  Now we have to rely on her for Thursday too. Other things that were completely out of my control were so heavy on my heart.
A heart that was full of fear and anxiety.
So, I’ve come to a crossroads of circumstances that I could do nothing about.  I’ve tried my hardest to have what I WANT to happen be, but every door keeps getting slammed in my face. Anyway…I was on Facebook as I rocked my baby, because, yeah, I’m the mom who can’t just BE.  I have to be doing two things at once and God forbid I just sit and soak up my daughter.  Ugh.  I came across a very good friend of my mom’s who has become a good friend of mine.  She posted a picture of Phillippians 4:6-7 which says,

Phillipians 4:6-7

Phillipians 4:6-7

I literally started crying and thanking the Lord for caring about me and my tiny circumstance.  No things won’t go my way, but He’s still on the throne and is in control.  I private messaged my friend and thanked her.  She told me that she wasn’t going to share that picture, but that God told her to anyway.

Oh how I love Him…
Oh how He cares so much for us.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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Can someone please press the pause button?!

I was sitting in my Bible Study chair last night when my 10 year old came creeping upstairs.  He said, “mom, I think I need to start wearing deodorant.”
I looked at him wide eyed trying not to laugh and said, “Why do you think that bub?”
“Well because my pits stink!  See?!” As he sticks his hand in his shirt and commences to violently rub his arm pit he pulls it out and sticks it in my face.  “See?!  I stink!”
I truly didn’t smell anything and so not to burst his pre-pubescent bubble, I made a face and said, “hmmm, I don’t think it smells that bad…”
“Wellll, try this one!”  He does the same thing on the other armpit and has me take a big whiff.
Oh my gosh.
He’s right.
It smelled like body odor.
My heart sank.
He’s bubbling over with excitement about a new phase in his life and my mind is racing through the virtual, “this is your life” montage.
Interrupting my thoughts on his first steps and the day he quit nursing, he leans down very close to my face and whispers, “Mom…I’m becoming a man!”

Ugh.
Right in the gut.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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Christ Wins! Now let’s eat candy!

I think the meaning of Easter has worn on me.
Don’t get me wrong.
I LOVE Jesus.
Alot.

But can you hear something so much that it loses it’s effectiveness?  As I read my daily devotionals that were published during the Holy Week up until Easter, it was completely apparent that Easter meant more to them than it does to me.

So, as I was rushing to Belk for clothes, Walmart and Kroger for Easter basket stuffers and Payless for shoes was I thinking about it being that day that Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss?
Um…no.
I was thinking however, how frustrated I was because Payless only had ONE register and the line was back down the size 10 aisle of ladies pumps….
I had in my phone’s calendar at the beginning of Lent to start a Lenten activity sponsored by Focus on the Family.
Didn’t get around to it.
Easter Bunny-1 Jesus-0

As Easter drew closer and I realized my time was dwindling to make a spiritual impact on my 4 kids to realize the impact of the most important time in Christendom, I vowed to make Holy Week matter.

But how could it when I didn’t feel the impact of it myself?  I’ve heard the Easter story since I was a baby.  Yes, Christ’s sacrifice was momentous.  So how could it be so lost on me?

Holy week came and went.
Easter Bunny-2 Jesus-0

I remember being an early teen, sitting in the church I was raised in during the Christmas service.  Literally it dawned on me what the term “virgin birth” meant.  As the priest was giving his sermon about the babe wrapped in a manger, it became a revelation to me…oh my gosh…Mary hadn’t had sex.  She was a virgin.  Yet, was pregnant.  How could it have taken me 13-14 years for that realization to hit me in the face?

How can I be 36 years old and not have the impact of God’s sacrifice become alive and active in my heart?  The very thought of Christ hanging on a cross for my apathetic heart should put me on my face.

But it doesn’t.

And what about the 4 little hearts that I’m sculpting?  That God blessed me with?  Do I want them to feel the same?  To think that Easter is about Cadbury eggs and if their ties match their sisters’ dresses?  Is that what I’ve reduced it to?  I didn’t even read them a book about Easter.  The Tale of Three Trees would have been a perfect one.  We didn’t read the Easter story, or watch Passion of the Christ or even the Veggie Tale Easter movie we have.

Easter Bunny-3, Jesus-0

And to beat all, as I walk into an overflowing sanctuary and glance back to the row my husband was supposed to save for me and see no where for me to sit… and be angry…
Lord.
How can you NOT kill me on the spot with all of this sin in my heart?

Well, some times I don’t know the answer.
Most times, I don’t know the answer.
But I do know that when those thoughts try to make a nest in my heart that I need to focus on being thankful.
Focus on God’s goodness and grace and mercy.  And fervently pray that God reveals His sacrifice to me all year long.  That it takes root in my heart and grows deep.
And the fact that because He doesn’t strike me dead on the spot that He must have a plan for me despite myself.
With the reassurance that there’s always next Easter.
And the next day.
And the next breath.
To reflect His goodness.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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Every step you take

Image

Reflection of Joshua 1:8-9
“And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind.  Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it.  Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed.  Haven’t I commanded you?  Strength!  Courage!  Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged.  God, your God, is with you every step of the way.” (The Message)

I’ve never been known to be timid.

If someone needs to go first or volunteer for something, I’ll do it.
If someone needs to be on the front row, I’m there.
There are times when I just like to lay low and soak things up, and I LOVE to people watch and just shrink back and observe the human race.  I’m really very good and being able to read people just by their facial expressions and their body language.  No, I’ve never been called timid.  In fact, I border on being obnoxious and inappropriate with my humor, usually saying…ahem, blurting…what everyone else in the room is thinking, but no one has the guts to say.  Most times, my filter takes a back seat to common sense and decency…one of my many flaws.

But discouragement?  Oh yeah.  I got that one.
Discouraged in myself, my desire to change things about me, my family, our finances, my kids, my thought life, my body, my…my…my.

*sigh*

I like to think that God thinks good thoughts on me, despite my shortcomings.  It’s good to know that He sings over me, even at the times that I can’t put my lips together to even whisper something nice about myself.  Is God ever disappointed in me?  Maybe.  Maybe not disappointment in me, but sadness.   He has so much more for me and because I don’t do what His word commands, “ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it.”  But instead of speaking of His goodness and mercy to someone, I’m saying something off color just for a laugh…

Oh, this prayer.  It gets me in the gut.  And to think it was written hundreds of years ago, shows the depth of desire in the hearts of people to know more of God.  The desire I long for even now.

Holy Lord,

I have sinned times without number,

  and been guilty of pride and unbelief,

             of failure to find thy mind in thy Word,

             of neglect to seek thee in my daily life.

My transgressions and short-comings

    present me with a list of accusations,

But I bless thee that they will not stand against me,

    for all have been laid on Christ;

Go on to subdue my corruptions,

    and grant me grace to live above them.

Let not the passions of the flesh nor the lustings of the mind

    bring my spirit into subjection,

    but do thou rule over me in liberty and power.

I thank thee that many of my prayers have been refused –

    I have asked amiss and do not have,

    I have prayed from lusts and have been rejected,

    I have longed for Egypt and have been given a wilderness.

Go on with thy patient work,

    answering ‘no’ to my wrongful prayers, and fitting me to accept it.

Purge me from every false desire, every base aspiration,

    everything contrary to thy rule.

I thank thee for thy wisdom and thy love,

    for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject,

    for sometimes putting me into the furnace

      to refine my gold and remove my dross.

No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin.

If thou shouldst give me choice to live in pleasure and keep my sins,

    or to have them burnt away with trial,

    give me sanctified affliction.

Deliver me from every evil habit, every accretion of former sins,

    everything that dims the brightness of thy grace in me,

    everything that prevents me taking delight in thee.

Then I shall bless thee, God of Jeshurun, for helping me to be upright.

from The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan prayers and devotions, ©2001, The Banner of Truth Trust, p.77.

Imagine what God is doing with and for us.  If we’d actually take His counsel and promises, and DO IT!

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.