0

Just the facts, Ma’am

“God, you did everything you promised,
and I’m thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.
Now I stroll at leisure with God 
in the sunlit fields of life.”
Psalm 56:12-13
Message

This scripture was one I adopted this time last year when embarking on my healing journey.  It went straight to the heart of how I physically felt…on the brink of death, the cliff edge of doom.  Sounds dramatic…but it’s true.  There were literally nights that I prayed that God would let me fall asleep and wake up in His arms.  BUT, praise God, He gave me hope!  And this scripture opens up with hope!  God is true to His promises and I was thanking Him in advance for the work He, and only He, could do in my heart!

So, here’s the facts.
In one year I lost:
81 pounds (no, I didn’t have surgery…I get asked that a lot.)
4 inches off each arm
8 off each leg
11.5 off my waist
14 off my hips
With a total of 37.5 inches.  Yes, that’s almost how tall my 3.5 year old daughter is.  Sheesh.

I dropped 4 pant sizes.

According to my Fitbit, I blew my goal of 3 million steps out of the water with 4.2 million steps.  That translates into almost 1800 miles and over 1 million calories.  I set this years step goal at 5 million steps!

Above all these statistics, more importantly than what reads on a scale…I have a new heart.  A healed, whole heart that is SO full of gratitude and love for a Father who is so much more than God.  He is everything He says He is; Healer, Comforter, Provider, Victorious, Prince of Peace.
I could have done none of this without Him.
NONE.  I can do anything for a little bit.  Log food, count calories, exercise.  But, when I came to the realization that I was being a pawn for the enemy who wants to destroy me.  I was making his job easy.  I was believing his lies.  THAT realization is a good motivator for a heart change.

We are so much more than people wandering on hard ground.
God has SO much more for us.
If we would only take Him at His Word.
I know I can’t imagine if most of the people I talked to didn’t believe a word I said.  It’d be heartbreaking.

Am I finished?  Perfect?
NO. WAY.
God’s not finished with me yet!  But I’m off to a good start.  This is my new battle cry…

“Goodbye to shallow love, sharp words, self pity and suspicious fears.
I am an unsettled woman who no longer wishes to take
part in the enemy’s distractions or destructions.”
–Lysa Terkeurst

Here’s to 2015 and continued freedom!

2

A Life of Left Turns

Image

 

This scripture pic came from my current Bible Study, Made to Crave Action Plan.  For the past 3 months I’ve spent every morning with these ladies and in two weeks, it’ll all be coming to a close.

I’m anxious.
I love the routine that I’ve fallen into with my morning Bible time.
And I’m fearful that it won’t be there soon for me to connect with.
I’m anxious that I’ll “fall off the wagon” so to speak…again.  For the thousandth time.  And fulfill what my mind tells me everyone is waiting on…
“Well, Jill’s doing so good, BUT how long can she keep it up?  We’ve circled this mountain with her for so many years…”  
I have to remind myself and as Jude 1:20 says, “build myself up in my most holy faith,” that it’s about God.  That my hope is NOT in this Bible Study.
My hope isn’t in the author of the book or the leaders of the Online Bible Study (although I’ve SO grateful for their obedience).

But it’s in Christ.

I realized this morning that I’ve yet to delve into God’s word on my own.
Still more wasted opportunities.
I am relying on other people to feed the Word to me, through my pastor, online sermons I listen to, and this Bible Study .  But I fail to feed the most important thing to myself.
God’s daily bread.
I must stop wasting opportunities.
So I’ll start with this one.  This verse has been so powerful to me over the past few months.
Psalm 56:12-13
God, you did everything you promised,
and I’m thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.
Now I stroll at leisure with God
in the sunlit fields of life.
—Message

I have been doing “this” for SO long.  It’s become a strange best friend; this struggle with myself has.  I have been circling this mountain for day after day, year after year.
And I’m dizzy from it.
I’m over it.
I’ve kicked this best friend out of my life and though she may try to come back, knocking on the door of my heart and mind, she is not welcome back.  She is my “chatterbox” and I’ve listened to her lies for long enough.
“You’ll always be this way,” she says.
“You aren’t strong enough.  You are so disgusting.  Your kids will grow up to be fat and lazy and unlovable just like you.   You’ll never be able to wear cute clothes like her.  Why don’t you just give up?  Be happy with your fatness!  The Lord could return tomorrow and all that wonderful food you’ve denied yourself will be for nothing.  LIVE LIFE!!!”  Her voice was so loud and clear.
WAS.
Because you see, I’m hearing her through the filter now of this Bible Study, truth I’ve had sown into me, and the truth of God’s word.
And relying on God after this Bible Study is over will be my only hope.