Just the facts, Ma’am

“God, you did everything you promised,
and I’m thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.
Now I stroll at leisure with God 
in the sunlit fields of life.”
Psalm 56:12-13

This scripture was one I adopted this time last year when embarking on my healing journey.  It went straight to the heart of how I physically felt…on the brink of death, the cliff edge of doom.  Sounds dramatic…but it’s true.  There were literally nights that I prayed that God would let me fall asleep and wake up in His arms.  BUT, praise God, He gave me hope!  And this scripture opens up with hope!  God is true to His promises and I was thanking Him in advance for the work He, and only He, could do in my heart!

So, here’s the facts.
In one year I lost:
81 pounds (no, I didn’t have surgery…I get asked that a lot.)
4 inches off each arm
8 off each leg
11.5 off my waist
14 off my hips
With a total of 37.5 inches.  Yes, that’s almost how tall my 3.5 year old daughter is.  Sheesh.

I dropped 4 pant sizes.

According to my Fitbit, I blew my goal of 3 million steps out of the water with 4.2 million steps.  That translates into almost 1800 miles and over 1 million calories.  I set this years step goal at 5 million steps!

Above all these statistics, more importantly than what reads on a scale…I have a new heart.  A healed, whole heart that is SO full of gratitude and love for a Father who is so much more than God.  He is everything He says He is; Healer, Comforter, Provider, Victorious, Prince of Peace.
I could have done none of this without Him.
NONE.  I can do anything for a little bit.  Log food, count calories, exercise.  But, when I came to the realization that I was being a pawn for the enemy who wants to destroy me.  I was making his job easy.  I was believing his lies.  THAT realization is a good motivator for a heart change.

We are so much more than people wandering on hard ground.
God has SO much more for us.
If we would only take Him at His Word.
I know I can’t imagine if most of the people I talked to didn’t believe a word I said.  It’d be heartbreaking.

Am I finished?  Perfect?
God’s not finished with me yet!  But I’m off to a good start.  This is my new battle cry…

“Goodbye to shallow love, sharp words, self pity and suspicious fears.
I am an unsettled woman who no longer wishes to take
part in the enemy’s distractions or destructions.”
–Lysa Terkeurst

Here’s to 2015 and continued freedom!

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.


The stranglehold of addictions

I have so many devotionals and Bible Studies going on right now it’s sometimes overwhelming.  But I’m in (finally) a season where I want SO much of God that I can’t think of anything else.  I’ve longed for this for a long time…The common theme that seems to be running through all of them is “wanting more of God” and “a new start.”  I felt God putting the word “peace” into my heart from the very beginning of the year and that ties in well too.  I want peace with myself, in raising my children, in our home as a whole.  Peace from fear of failure.
So I was asked the question “What am I doing that is making this time different?”  Well, for me I needed a plan that would be cheap and easy.  I knew Weight Watchers had worked very well for me, but I didn’t have the left over money each week or month to pay for meetings or subscriptions.  My family and I don’t like to put unnecessary medicines into our bodies, so I knew for that reason (and money) that diet pills were out.  I also knew I needed something that made sense, gave me accountability, and changed the heart of the problem which my addiction to sugar.  So I took the food journaling of Weight Watchers and the advice of my doctor and simply cut out sugar, moved more and ate less.  I got myself a FitBit for Christmas which tracks my calories out, synced it with MyFitnessPal to track my calories in and made sure that each day I had a deficit.  I have completely cut out sugar.  My love affair with sugar was over.  It is no longer the “strong tower I ran to” instead I gave that job to God.  🙂 Sugar and I have been bedfellows for too long and it had hurt me for the last time.  I finally had gotten to the point in my life, by reaching my lowest (by reaching my highest weight), that I was so sick of lying to myself, hiding food, being so full of deceit and being completely controlled by sugar.  It had to exit stage left and never come back.  In in the past, I’d allowed myself “Cheat days.”  Clearly, that doesn’t work for me.
So long cheat days!
I’ve been doing this since Christmas Day and I’ve had lots of success.  I truly went through a period of mourning.  Mourning the loss of the comfort sugar brought me.  Mourning for all the desserts of the future that I’ll never have. No more birthday cake, pecan pies at Thanksgiving, cupcakes at our local bakery before I pick my boys up at the bus stop and literally shove into my mouth without even tasting it, no more donuts at faculty meetings.  I KNEW that if I ever allowed myself “just one bite” it would send me back into a downward spiral of destruction.  The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy me and that “just one bite won’t hurt” is a lie straight from his mouth.  I would listen to it no longer.  Cookies will no longer have a death grip on me.
God and ultimate freedom is SO much sweeter than any dessert.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.