The stranglehold of addictions

I have so many devotionals and Bible Studies going on right now it’s sometimes overwhelming.  But I’m in (finally) a season where I want SO much of God that I can’t think of anything else.  I’ve longed for this for a long time…The common theme that seems to be running through all of them is “wanting more of God” and “a new start.”  I felt God putting the word “peace” into my heart from the very beginning of the year and that ties in well too.  I want peace with myself, in raising my children, in our home as a whole.  Peace from fear of failure.
So I was asked the question “What am I doing that is making this time different?”  Well, for me I needed a plan that would be cheap and easy.  I knew Weight Watchers had worked very well for me, but I didn’t have the left over money each week or month to pay for meetings or subscriptions.  My family and I don’t like to put unnecessary medicines into our bodies, so I knew for that reason (and money) that diet pills were out.  I also knew I needed something that made sense, gave me accountability, and changed the heart of the problem which my addiction to sugar.  So I took the food journaling of Weight Watchers and the advice of my doctor and simply cut out sugar, moved more and ate less.  I got myself a FitBit for Christmas which tracks my calories out, synced it with MyFitnessPal to track my calories in and made sure that each day I had a deficit.  I have completely cut out sugar.  My love affair with sugar was over.  It is no longer the “strong tower I ran to” instead I gave that job to God.  🙂 Sugar and I have been bedfellows for too long and it had hurt me for the last time.  I finally had gotten to the point in my life, by reaching my lowest (by reaching my highest weight), that I was so sick of lying to myself, hiding food, being so full of deceit and being completely controlled by sugar.  It had to exit stage left and never come back.  In in the past, I’d allowed myself “Cheat days.”  Clearly, that doesn’t work for me.
So long cheat days!
I’ve been doing this since Christmas Day and I’ve had lots of success.  I truly went through a period of mourning.  Mourning the loss of the comfort sugar brought me.  Mourning for all the desserts of the future that I’ll never have. No more birthday cake, pecan pies at Thanksgiving, cupcakes at our local bakery before I pick my boys up at the bus stop and literally shove into my mouth without even tasting it, no more donuts at faculty meetings.  I KNEW that if I ever allowed myself “just one bite” it would send me back into a downward spiral of destruction.  The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy me and that “just one bite won’t hurt” is a lie straight from his mouth.  I would listen to it no longer.  Cookies will no longer have a death grip on me.
God and ultimate freedom is SO much sweeter than any dessert.

I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.

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