For whatever reason, the Lord speaks to me through body functions and fluids.
Whether it’s my daughter vomiting twice in public or me peeing in Walmart or my dog taking a whiz in Petsmart, I mean, I personally would have preferred other means for Him to teach me lessons, speak to my heart and what not, but here we are.
Most recently, Jason and I went on a date.
Now, these don’t happen too often, so when they do we try to make the most of them.
We finished dinner and headed to the movies.
There is almost nothing Jason holds more dear than movie popcorn, so any chance we get to go uptown to see a show…we do.
Picture this if you will…
The lights dim.
Excitement settles in as the previews start.
You hear the crunching of popcorn and the settling of ice all over the theater.
About an hour into the movie, Jason leans over and says, “Do you SMELL that?!”
Oblivious, I shake my head “no.”
He lets out a huge sigh that really says, “Woman something is wrong with your smeller” and we go back to the movie. But not before he buries his nose under his shirt.
I look over at him and laugh.
His look says, “Don’t judge me.”
A few minutes later, I realize what it is he’s speaking of.
I turned to him with a look of horror on my face.
Jason said, “Yep. Somebody has crapped their pants.”
It’s the kind of smell that hangs out in the back of your throat.
The kind of smell that haunts your nightmares.
The kind of smell that makes grown men wretch.
I started to squirm in my seat.
I buried my face in my shirt.
I begged Jason to go tell someone in management. To do what, I’m not quite sure…
After what feels like a decade had passed, he leaned over to me and whispered,
“That’s it. I’m standing up and asking who has pooped their pants.”
I immediately grabbed his arm, knowing he’d do it, and said, “Dear God don’t do that!”
Instead, I looked around the theater to see if anyone else has fallen dead to this apparent terrorist attack.
Everyone was good.
I did see two ladies at the end of our aisle also assuming the “bend and bury” position to protect their noses.
The sight of that was too much.
I started laughing and shaking so hard.
I mean who does this happen to?!
It wasn’t just someone who had some bad Mexican.
It was someone whose digestive tract clearly hated them SO much that it decided to revolt on this person, turn itself inside out and leave their body.
It literally smelled like a rotting carcass.
I’m still heaving with laughter when Jason leaned over and said, “This is stupid. We never go on dates. We’re leaving.”
I again searched the theater, noticing that two men had left, along with a large group of about 30 kids and their chaperones.
Now I’m not saying that they did it, I’ve learned that you either smelt it or you dealt it, in either case, they’d had enough.
Those of us who were left in the aftermath held a certain camaraderie.
We stuck it out.
We didn’t let our surroundings deter us from what we’d come there to do.
We came to see a movie, and by George, see a movie we will do.
We. Shall. Not. Be. Moved.
Friend, I know this is a super simple, slightly disgusting and possibly stupid connection, (I’ve learned not to question how and where God speaks to me) but I cannot help but think,
This is life!
We sometimes are in shitty situations.
Yet God is wanting us to not give up.
The family who’s turned their back on you? Don’t lose hope.
That call on your life? Don’t throw in the towel.
The addiction that repeatedly breaks your heart? Just a little bit longer.
The child who is so far away from the faith? Hang in there.
The job that never seems to come. Keep in the fight.
He’s right beside you, your biggest cheerleader, saying, “C’mon sis! Please don’t give up! If you only knew what I had set aside for you! Just a little bit more!!!”
So where ever you are right now, just hold on.
Soon the credits will roll and sweet relief will be yours.
Victory will be yours.
As for the other guy, well he still has a mess to clean up.
Don’t be that guy.
Because in the end…he misses the movie.