Ever have one of those mornings? Yeah. Me too. Thankfully God has helped me “reign it in” multiple times because I’ve never been charged with assault and battery.
I came close one morning though. By a sheer miracle of God we all made it to school…dressed, fed AND on time! I’m working around my desk when a lady I know from the community comes into the Library and says, “Oh hey! I saw you all this weekend at (insert random community church event). I’m shaking my head trying to not make my annoyance of her too obvious. *backstory…our boys are in school together and she’s at our school some. She’s super opinionated and mouthy and God give me grace when I see her. You know, some people just rub you the wrong way. Ahem. She is my “rubber the wrong wayer.”
I’m smiling, reminiscing at the great time we had. Jay had something to do so it was just me and the 4 kids running around this farm/complex where a local church often has community events. Bonfires, inflatables, candy…FUN! We had a tremendous time. I gave the oldest some freedom and let him cut from us to run with his friends. It was just fun. Her next sentence snapped me from my walk down memory lane… “Yeah, you looked really…frazzled.”
Aaaand…there it is.
It’s 7:50 am and I already want to punch someone in the face. Monday. You cruel, cruel vixen.
I immediately felt defensive. Scrambling for the right words to change her opinion of me and what she thought of me on that night, (why I care is beyond me) I smiled real big and said, “No way! We were having a terrific time! I have no idea why you’d think that! We had a blast!”
Then, as if channeling my inner Kelly Kapowski, I was saved by the bell when the bell rang for 1st period.
Shew, that was a close one.
Assault and battery 0–Jill/God 1.
Now…get out muh Library.
In the name of Jesus, of course….
As I pondered…ahem, stewed on her words and my appearance that night, I hated the fact that even when I was having a wonderful time, my face came across as being stressed. I guess 4 kids will do that to you. I asked God to help me to be more aware of my face. When talking to people, when out and about, when being one on one with friends…that my face would show Him and not what may or may not be brewing in my subconscious. He helped me realize that her words were not said in love and He set me free to let go of her critical words. Our words are important. But our faces can convey a message as well.
I’m choosing joy.
And I’m going to let that joy show all over my face.
Good or bad.
Like the old Vacation Bible School song says, “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart!”
I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.