Russian Roulette

Russian Roulette

Let me set the scene.
I’m at the grocery store for the 6th time in a week.
I’m just running in for “three” things.
I approach the checkout counter and immediately I become part psychic/part secret ops officer.
I size up the fullness of the buggies in front of me and quickly judge the owners of the buggies.
Are they trying out for the coupon reality show or do they seem to be in a hurry like me?
My gaze then shifts stealthily to the employee running the checkout lane.
Are they young or old?
Are they the friendly one or the grumpy one?
Is it the fella who likes to make small talk or the lady who always seems to be having a nuclear hot flash and complaining about how management won’t give her break to her.
Milliseconds later my head whips to the U-scan.
Should I do it?
Do I risk losing my place in line to do it myself?
Do I risk not getting something to scan or the machine not taking my money or the scale not measuring my last item that it keeps telling me to remove from my bag and please don’t tell me one more time because I DON’T WANT THE ATTENDANT TO ASSIST ME!  I WANT TO CHECK THE HECK OUT!  SO STOP BOSSING ME AROUND!
What usually happens is I get all big for my britches and being a “professional line jumper who always immediately experiences regret,” I’ll get out of the line I’m in and get in another line because I think I know better.
Ninety percent of the time, I don’t.
Checking out at the grocery store is a like playing Russian Roulette.
It could go well.
Or it could go really badly.
Can you relate?
Or do you always stay in the line you start in shrouded in a holy patience free from judgment of the people around you?
Yeah, me too. 🙂
So naturally while I’m irritated for leaving the line that I was in that is now moving at Olympic speed, I feel a little rebuke from the Lord for being impatient.
You know I can apply this to just about every area of my life.
I want things done yesterday.
When someone asks me to do something I usually do it right then because more than likely I’ll forget if I don’t.
Want me to make that poster for you?
Sure!  I’ll do it now!
Hey will you pray for my father in law?  He’s having surgery.
Sure!  Let me do it now.
I sometimes expect others to do things quickly.
I sometimes am disappointed because they don’t.
I’m impatient for prayers unanswered or plans unknown.
“Well, crap, God.  You aren’t handling this swiftly enough.  FINE!  I’ll just do it myself!”
I don’t recommend that route…
God gently reminds me of Galatians 6:9.  I hear Him say, “Jill, don’t become weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.”
Harvest is coming if you just don’t quit.
He says, “Just stay in the line, just hang in there with your hormonal teen, don’t show anything but love to the mom who is always snarky to you, don’t give up on the kid at school who NEVER returns his book back on time, or the coworker who always answers, “Well…I’m here!” when you ask how they are doing.
He says, just hang in there with your self when you get frustrated for getting sidetracked during prayer or distracted during church service, or start ANOTHER diet on the 485th Monday.  Don’t jump ahead of yourself and try to fix yourself.  Don’t jump ahead of Me and try to fix your husband or your parents or your son.
Trust me.
Don’t give up.
Stay the course.
Be faithful.
He says, “I see your heart.  And I love it with ALL of mine!  I have SO much good for you!!”
And you’ll hear Him say, “My darling, don’t become weary in doing good, for at the proper time (which is My time and may require lots of patience on your time) you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.”
So don’t.
We will all be so glad we did.




I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer, and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ, walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God… just living the dream.

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