Some things you see and you’re like, “Oh, that’s nice.”
Other things you see and it just really hits you hard.
Phoebe is involved in King’s Kids, a youth choir at a local church in our community, Bridges Church.
It’s a great church full of wonderful people doing kingdom changing things for our area.
As I was picking her up the other day from King’s Kids, I looked over at a decoration they had on the wall above the children’s church sign in table.
It caught my eye because it was very “pinteresty” and I immediately thought, “Oh, mason jars. I love mason jars. That’s nice.”
Then my eyes focused and I realized what I was looking at.
I quickly scanned the jars to find the ages of my children only to see that my time with them was so limited.
At birth you’re given 936 weeks, or marbles. Each year after that you lose 52 until they get to 18 years old.
There were hardly any marbles in my “14 year old jar.”
I got the panicked feeling I used to get when I realized, “Oh crap. School starts in 4 days. We need to make memories! Go to the pool! Go to Skyzone! Go camping! Time is running out!”
I felt punched in the gut.
I felt betrayed by my fellow believers.
I thought “What a terrible thing to do to a mom!”
I’m thankful for that punch in the gut though.
Thankful for a church that will put the pressure on me to see that time is of the essence.
Monday felt like a fog. More so than a typical Monday.
Waking up to the news alert of the tragedy in Las Vegas only to watch the death toll rise was not a great way to start a Monday.
They had no idea what’d hit them.
No this isn’t God’s judgement on “sin city.”
The school teachers, the pimps, the prostitutes, the college students, the people of Las Vegas.
The crouching, screaming, crying, panicked people in the crowd.
The man behind the trigger.
All His children.
Meanwhile, back in Kentucky, my life is going on unscathed.
I paid bills.
Laughed with my kids.
Hugged my dad.
Read a book.
That’s the strange thing about tragedies.
While someone’s life is forever changed, the majority of the world is going on.
They forever have a line drawn in the timeline of their life of a “before” and an “after.”
My boys got their school pictures back today and as I watch my cursor blink I’m reminded of the scripture that says “whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”
These babies are growing up before my eyes
Someone’s jar ran out of marbles prematurely today.
Mine goes on.
I get one more week with my kids.
This life is but a vapor.
But God is still good.
God’s goodness and faithfulness is not contingent upon what kind of day we had.
Because surrounded by sadness in the world, my day was pretty great.
Because in a world that seems like pure evil…there is still good.
Because there is still God.
Babies were still born today, beautiful sunsets stretched across the sky.
People fell in love and someone got great news today.
In a world full of ugly, there is still beauty.
My beauty was the hard realization that 4 jars full of marbles and 4 more school pictures to hang up is another day to show His love to a hurting world.
It’s just up to me to focus on that beauty and pray for His peace to pass all understanding.
I’m a book-shelving, former tap dancer, wanna be writer, singer,
and banjo player, mother of 4, wife of 1, follower of Christ,
walking in the shadow of the Proverbs 31 woman
and redeemed by the grace and love of an Almighty God…
just living the dream.